Time Management - An Unhurried Life

"To be spiritually healthy, you must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."

"Be still and know that I AM God" (Psalm 46:10)

What steps can you take to simplify your life?

In his book "The Life You've Always Wanted," John Ortberg teaches spiritual disciplines for ordinary people.

In Chapter 5 titled "An Unhurried Life," John explains "the practice of 'slowing'." He states that not long after moving to Chicago, he called the wisest spiritual mentor he has ever known to ask for spiritual direction. John described the pace at which things tended to move in his current setting. He told about the rhythms of his family life and the present condition of his heart. Then John asked what he needed to do to be spiritually healthy. After a long pause, the wise mentor answered "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." After writing down that lesson, John asked "Now what else is there?" Another long pause and then the answer came "There is nothing else."

John states: "The lives of the hurry-sick lack simplicity. Hurried people cannot love. Today we have largely traded wisdom for information. Love and hurry are incompatible. Jesus never hurried. Solitude is the remedy for the busyness that charms."

In my wallet, I carry a beautiful card with a serene picture of a house with a water wheel and Psalm 46:10. This serves as a constant reminder for me to be still to rest in the LORD.

Jesus invites you to rest in Him. Accept His invitation!

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

Prayer Power

Abba, thank You that I can call You Father because I am Your child. Thank You for Your patience with me when I allow myself to get too busy. Thank You for the ways You work in my life to steer me to more godly habits to slow down and thereby practice the presence of God. Almost everywhere I go, I see hurry- sick people. Please bless the people reading this message to be able to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from their own lives so that they may be spiritually healthy. May they be still to know that You are God so that they may experience Your deep and abiding love which can then be poured into the lives of many others.

Early Reflections - Post Trauma

Were the stars aligned differently... was there a shadow cast upon the moon? 

Or was it the coming of my own sense and internal impending doom?

Looking back...what really happened on the evening of June 8, 2006? 

I remembered my daughters were all with me... couddled, cozy and content.

Although my breathing had become increasingly labored, I maintained minimal fear... 

For I had confidently learned to control my asthma for nearly 43 years... without any fear!

But this evening, something was different, something went wrong... I was drowning in an airless world and needed help! 

I used inhaler after inhaler... in home breathing treatment after treatment... I even rushed outside for air and resorted to loosening my belt.

I urgently called upon my brother for my own family insurance and then went to the hospital where I received immediate and critical care. 

However, the longer I remained there... the more questions were posed... the more fears arose... as I became acutely aware.

Once at the hospital, everyone appeared hurried... they all rushed around me... seemingly distracted and non committal. 

I felt that I was the only one who knew that I was indeed deathly ill!

As time elapsed and things went from bad to worse and from worse to even worser... "As critical as critical can get" said one doctor - My life became uncertain as to "will I live or will I die"? 

For me... time had evolved into slow motion and my world became out of control as I kept asking "Why me...why me...oh, why"?

Everything seemed to spiral downward and I distinctly remember hearing voices, fear, panic and someone saying, "This is not good... he's not responding"! 

Again, I thought to myself inside, "How could this be, I had just spent the past week golfing"!

However, for 18 days... me eyes remained closed! 

I was medically sedated... my body did not twitch, move nor flex while positioned in a frightening and deathly pose.

Family, friends and loved ones all came to my bedside. 

A constant and gentle aroma of love drifted in and out of my room and whispers, prayers, and pleas for me not to die!

Although hard to believe... somewhere... somehow... I heard them all and felt every tug, hug and kiss! 

As I silently cried deeper than deep inside... and wished and wished and wished!

On June 26, I briefly awoke... my eyes opened and my nightmare turned confusingly real? 

Again, I felt death from my head to my toes... I could not move, speak or feel.

Was I alive... had I been in an accident...was I paralyzed... never to move again...never to hug my children...where was my faith? 

What happened to me on June 8?

Each night... empty and alone... I saw myselfs reflection in the lights and mirror's from above as I lay strapped, connected, and harnessed between life saving tubes, fluids and machines. 

All the while, with my cognitive thoughts and memory intact... I laid there thinking, this is not right, "I'm a Green"!

All the machines, medications, and I. V's... a bi-pap, an air bag, a respirator, a ventilator, a tracheotomy... the constant and painful suctioning sounds over and over... the myriad of nurses, therapists, doctors, nutritionists all striving to keep me alive! 

Despite the mental, emotional, and physical consequences and questions or treatment should I survive?

Then it started... the uncontrollable body movements...earthquakes in my legs! 

Indescribable, violent, uncontrollable, gut wrenching shakes, jerks, tremors and sweat that increased throughout my body each and every day.

Doctors scratched their heads and then they were gone, only to be replaced by someone new. They confusingly rotated weekly to address and treat my ever increasing needs. 

In every case... with every new doctor... I received the same puzzled, socially and culturally inept medical looks, comments, and excessive patronizing leads.

They implied the answers to my condition laid within their medical degrees and books. They initially said my symptoms were due to the aftermath of the "assault to my body"... and then they said it may be the lasting side effects of the paralytics which seemed to create the ever so lasting and uncontrollable pain. 

All I knew was that my mind, body and spirit were completely and utterly drained!

Each day I was engulfed in the clenches of despair... the grief that surrounded me... and my own internal fear. 

I was beyond the point of heart ache... past my emotional and physical breaking point... even my eyes could no longer shed a tear.

My body was exhausted... I was spent and thought there was nothing left... I was ready to give up... I was ready to die... I wanted to die! 

But I knew that I could not stop fighting for "life" hearing my children's loving poems and letters read to me and then seeing their tear soaked bright and innocent eyes.

You Love Being a Neonatal Therapist AND You Need a Break - The Lost Art of Unscheduled Connection

If your life is anything like mine, it runs on a schedule. And if your kids' lives are anything like most of the kids I know, their schedules may be busier than yours!

Work/school - hurried snack - practice (sports, plays, music) - feed dogs - homework - trips to buy $15 worth of stuff at Target for school project du jour - pick up from practice - oh, dinner?! - laundry - (do I have clean scrubs for work?) - endless email - dishes - organize life for next morning - fall into bed at 11:00pm or later - begin again.

Whew!

No wonder you're tired!

And vacation - whether it's staying home and not working, or going away and separating yourself from all of the above does, in fact, do something for you.

It reminds you what it's like to live an unscheduled life. It allows you to breathe. To think. To laugh. To ponder.

Last night after a 2 hour walk with my daughter that included conversations ranging from teachers to tidal pools, we all ate dinner together. Then for the next several hours, we played Pictionary (laughing hysterically at our lack or sketching talent), and then just sat and talked, told stories and laughed. This is how our time has been.

And what I know is that it's hard to make this kind of time and space in our lives.

And that we desperately need it.

This time away made it clear to me what makes each member of my little family unique. My son's humor, my daughter's sweetness, my husband's thoughtfulness.

And that I'm capable of sleeping for 8 hours in a row if given the chance.

Sometimes you don't plan a vacation, saying you don't have the time. Or that you'll do it next year. Sometimes you pretend it needs to involve lots of money when you know that vacation is more of a decision than a destination.

How To Survive And Raise Your Children In An Insane World

So, does anyone else out there think it's a mad, mad, mad world??? I know for a fact that it is. I've seen the ugliness, the crassness, the selfishness. I've seen first hand hopes dashed, dreams lost, castles fallen. I've seen evil win. I've seen good beaten to the finish line.

BUT...I also know that out there somewhere is the opposite; true beauty, nobility and selflessness. A place where good survives regardless of it's surroundings. Where purity and refreshing honesty, though hopelessly outnumbered and out of sync with their surroundings, still shine through like a candle in the darkness. Archaic terms, I know; survivors from another time, another place, long ago when things were simpler, people were more honest, goals more clear. When right and wrong were not so close together; the gray had not yet taken over and turned reality upside down.

Those of you who long for those days know what I'm talking about. Regardless of your age, whether old or young, you realize your ideals, your hopes, even your belief in your fellow man are hopelessly outdated and unrealistic according to those around you. You don't live in the real world, they say. Andy Griffith's Mayberry is long gone; Father Knows Best is a ridiculous thought, and Gilligan's Island was really just a giant orgy, no matter what you think the survivors did. And Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke...well, we won't even go there.

So what do you do, my antiquated friend of 20, 40 or 80?? Do you learn to "fit in"?? Do you change your modus operandi?? Do you give in to cynicism and lose faith in everything you hold dear?? No!!! You don't.

But how do you hang on to yourself in this situation? Life is soooo busy, so hurried. There isn't time, there are bills to pay, life is going by so very, very fast. But take heed; before you know it, it will be over, my friend. Our time here is a blink of any eye. As hard as it may seem, priorities must be named and stood by. How does that song go..."you've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything..". It's true.

Let me tell you how I survive. Maybe it will work for you, maybe it won't. That's something you'll have to decide for yourself. First of all, I have children. Bunches of children. Some grown, some still small. How did I raise believers in good in this evil world??? How will they survive in a dog eat dog society? Here's my answer. They'll survive. They'll survive with grace, with light from within, with clear eyes and pure intentions. They'll get knocked down, disappointed, discouraged...who doesn't? And, of course, in a world of emos and pessimism, they'll stick out like a sore thumb. So what??? Is that such a bad thing, to be different in a world of tattoos, piercings, sex, drugs, alcohol, atheism...you name it??

Now I'm not saying you have to do the "Amish" thing. That's great, fine and dandy for the Amish; it's worked for them for a long time now. But it would never fly around my house. I'm not saying you have to lock them in a room and force them to watch "The Sound of Music" 10,000 times. (Although if you've never seen it, it's a great place to start. Fix some popcorn and enjoy!)

It comes down to this. It's all about choices. You can't take children's choices away from them and make them all for them. You'll end up with weak minded followers waiting for someone to tell them what to do, and folks, it's probably not always going to be you. You want strong-minded children that aren't afraid to stand up for the decent and the good in the world, regardless of how unpopular it may be.

The key to all this is SECURITY. Kids have to feel secure. The more security and the more self-esteem children have, the less likely they are to follow the crowd, the better they will feel about themselves, and the less likely they are to try to define themselves by seeking approval of their peers.

Some people go to extremes in the wrong direction, hoping to protect their children from that big, scary world. To an extent, yes, we have to. If we love them, we will be a buffer zone until such a time as they are mature enough to handle themselves. Unfortunately, these frightened folks think the way to accomplish all this is to wrap their kids up in cellophane, build a moat and a drawbridge, get a few Rottweilers to guard things, and separate them from the world outside. All you get from that particular sequence of events are maladjusted children who need someone to tell them what to do and how to do it for the rest of their lives. Once they're turned loose out in the big ole' world, and the scary newness wears off, you tend to have kids even wilder than the world you were protecting them from, nine times out of ten! I've seen it more times than I can count. You took away their choices, you took away their conflicts, you took away their chances to learn how to stand their ground and deal with what's around them firsthand. It's a growing thing, and they grew up without learning those very important lessons. Now you chunk them out there and expect them to learn to swim with sharks with no swimming lessons or life preservers. Good going.

Now I'm not harping on the home schooling crowd. Not at all! Home schooling can be great if, and that's a big IF, it is done correctly. If it is not used as an escape from the world. If you haven't dug a moat. Unfortunately, many people use it for exactly that, with an agenda of their own that would shock some more moderate, responsible home-schooling parents.

Teach your children how to make choices. Teach them logical reasoning processes, clear thinking, kindness and honesty. Let them know there is ugliness out there, and they are going to have to deal with it each and every day, and make more and more choices as they get older. Don't send them out to battle unprepared. Your children aren't cannon fodder.

What Is Your Family IQ?

My name is Scott Reed, I'm 46 yrs old, I'm married, and have four wonderful teenagers. Wow! What a job! I have always felt like I was a "family man" and still consider myself to be one. But you know, as hard as I have tried the past twenty years to be what I thought I should be as a husband, provider, father, and mentor to four brilliant young kids I somewhat sit back now in DEEP contemplation of the many ways and times I tried to communicate my values, ambitions, aspirations and goals to eight little onlooking eyes (ten with my wife's) from cradle to young adulthood realizing that somehow, somewhere, in the space of time I've missed something along the way. But what? Why do I feel this way? Can I pinpoint what it is or has life been so hurried, so rushed, and so confusing that all that is left is blurred visions, voices and ambiguity to be companions of solace and comfort for the rest of my days here on earth?

I see somewhat clearly though through all the clutter that yes, I have been in schooling. Yes, I've been through and still am going through the school of parenting and as I have four young adults now beginning to see things through their own eyes beginning to make decisions through their own assessments, and testing the "waters" of this voyage that our little "family ship" has been on for a number of years now, we all realize that truly we are now reaping results of what we have trained and been trained for in this thing called life. We are taking a test. We are being tested. And we still are so as to say still sitting at that desk trying to find out how well we have learned, how well we have been taught, and what those results will bring us. We are about to find out what our IQ is! We are about to find out how well we have scored in this game of life.

And maybe even right now we can sense a little of what the outcome is going to be by some of the questions we have had to answer already! Can You? What are you thinking by now? Can you say, "I've scored well here. I've scored well there. But maybe not so well over here?" I think if all of us were honest we could say we've done good and maybe not so good as we think over the many areas that human relationships have to do with in touching, influencing, and affecting every human being born on this earth in one way or another.

By now you may be asking the question for yourself that I gave you above, "What is my family IQ?". In other words, "What is the Intelligence Quotient for MY family?". Are you scoring as well as you might think on your test in family relationships? Are you as smart as you might think you are? Are you right on target?

Be Still, and Know That I Am God

God communicates with each of us in small ways from our waking moments each and every day; in fact, God is communicating to us before that, through our dreams if we will listen.

God says things like, "START SMALL," and "DON'T MISS THIS LITTLE REMINDER I AM REMINDING YOU ABOUT MANY TIMES TODAY-DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, NOW."

One of my reminders of late has been, "YOUR PANTS ARE GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND YOUR WAIST, STEVE." "ARE YOU LOOKING AFTER THE BODY I HAVE GIVEN YOU?" I often respond, at this time of year, "It's winter time; it's time to sit and be lazy."

All of this talk - this constant conversation with God - occurs almost unconsciously.

I can pretend that this conversation with God isn't happening, as we all tend to do, but it won't change my reality. My reality is my truth, and it does me no good at all to ignore it. I wake up with a certain sensation inside my stomach; it is not hunger - it is worse than hunger. My stomach stills feel full. Did I eat too much last night? Most of the time I don't even get to ask such questions of myself. Most of the time such questions fly under the radar.

The still, small voice of God, in my everyday, is communicating to me through my mind - through my anxiety - through the things I am refusing to grapple with. A lot of these things are unconscious to me, most of the time, because I have repressed the still, small voice of God. This is what we do: repress God.

If I do nothing with these things, God will continue to communicate, but his voice will appear more silent and hardly audible at all.

I know that God has referred me to this quote, and it has many meanings:

"They who reach down into the depths of life where, in the stillness, the voice of God is heard, have the stabilizing power which carries them poised and serene through the hurricane of difficulties." 

~Spencer W. Kimball

One meaning it has in this context is really quite simple.

The depths of my life, at the mind level, are simple indeed. Cream is bad for me, whilst water is good. When I eat less I feel better. When I keep my mind free, as far as my responsibilities allow, I am more able to hear and appreciate the beauty in the still, small voice of God. When I exercise, or do some things, by activating my body, I feel a little better about myself.

The things of God are really so simple, but we miss them, most times, because our lives are so hurried and big with busyness.

That ancient phrase - "BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD" - resounds within us. Can we hear it, and, do we listen? It is about peace; but so much more than peace. God is not only seeking to communicate with us, he does communicate with us - but mostly in the tiniest of ways. If we master the art of listening we master our lives. It is up to us. Each day, each moment, is a fresh opportunity.