Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Fun Kids' Birthday Party Ideas


Kids' birthday party ideas are fun to conceptualize and plan on. There are so many great themes and elements that you can add to make the experience fun for your kid, his or her guests and yourself as well. This article will give you fun kids' birthday party ideas which you can use or can inspire you to come up with your own. Below are some easy to read and quick tips on planning a fun party for your kid:
1) Cupcake Themed Party
Nothing could be more exciting than a cupcake themed birthday party; that is if your kid is into cupcakes. They are so trendy right now that most likely your kid will rave about it. Ask him or her on what colors she would like to see and what flavors he or she likes to make the theme more precise. Then have plenty of cupcakes, toppings, and icing prepared. The birthday cake can be shaped into one big cupcake or you can have a cupcake tower with a candle on top of each. There should be kid friendly tables and chairs with a tray of toppings in the center of each table. Each kid is given one cupcake which he or she can decorate. You can also turn it into a contest.
2) Face Painting Party
An artistic kid would definitely enjoy a birthday party with a face painting theme or activity. Make sure to stay away from oil-based face paints since these can smear and can also be a pain to wash off. Look for non toxic face paint. Supply the kids with some makeup sponges and soft brushes, as well as lots of water.
3) Shape Party
Holding a "Shape" party is fun for little kids from 2 to 4 years of age. Ask your kid what his or her favorite shape is, and make it the theme of the party. For instance, if his or her favorite shape is "triangle" make his or her birthday cake, cookies, and plates in triangles. A fun shape would be circles, and you can incorporate cereals into the games and "prepare your own ice cream" activities.
4) Season Themed Party
A Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter themed party can bring the season into life in a kid's party, regardless as to what the current season is during the special day. Ask your kid what his or her favorite season is and you can prepare the right color scheme and elements into the party with almost any budget. For instance, if your kid wants a summer themed party, prepare a little portable kiddie pool in your backyard and work with bright summer colors. Food should be summer themed as well, such as fruit shakes. For example, you can create a winter wonderland with snowflake cut outs and silver glitter. The birthday cake can be one big snowman or a sled.
5) Baby Spa Theme
For kids who love to feel all grown up and get the rest and relaxation that mommy and daddy indulge in, a spa themed birthday party is a great suggestion. You can help the kids make their own safe and easy face masks out of mashed banana and oatmeal. Slice some cucumbers to put on their eyes and let the guests come to the party in bathrobes (with clothes underneath, preferably). Don't forget to light some scented candles (chocolate or peppermint).

Monday, November 12, 2012

Some Kids Birthday Party Ideas


Kids birthday party ideas enable you to plan a party without having to come down with stress. The tools and ideas when followed accurately will see you throw the best birthday party for your child. If you are the kind of mom who does not have an idea of where to start and find kids birthday party ideas, you need to consider some basics of planning a party. The first thing is that you will not succeed if you rush at the final minute. A birthday party should start its preparations at least a month in advance. This is necessary because it will give you a chance to do some research, make any online orders and receive them, seek help from relatives and many more activities.
The second tip that is paramount is to pick a theme. Kids birthday party ideas for themes are very many. You have to go with a theme that your child will love and appreciate and for this to happen, you must know what they love. Themes will enable you have a reference point when you are undertaking other details that relate to the party. For the party, you need to involve other activities and this is because children will remember what they were up to and activities they did. Afternoons are the best times to have parties and you need to consider the kind of food you are going to feed the guests. Some people will feel that finger foods are enough for the party but, if you want to cook homemade food, go ahead with your plan.
There are many kids birthday party ideas on invitations. Invitations come with a vital messages which is the venue, date and time of the party. Invitations can also be customized or personalized to provide a warm invitation. Make them colorful for them to appeal to your guests. Remember, the theme is going to guide you as you make and design invitations. Another aspect for the party that is very important is the number of guests you intend to have. For very young children, there will adults mostly and for older children, their closest friends might attend their party.
Kids birthday party ideas for decorations will make all the difference. You are going to decorate following the theme you have chosen. Make sure you display color, as well as some photos of the birthday girl and boy to show how far they have come. Other ideas will be on the party favors. Also consider foods and drinks that are most appropriate for the party. The internet will provide you will information on this and more so that you can have the best birthday party possible for your child. Therefore, take time and get inspired and start to plan the event early. If you find that the preparations are overwhelming, hire somebody to assist you with the work or find a relative who can help you. It is fun planning a birthday party when you know exactly what to do.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Fun Bachelor Party Ideas

Think, "bachelor party" and images of drinking and wild women come to mind. While many men still enjoy a night of hopping from club to club, there are those who want something different. Here are three bachelor party ideas that offer lots of fun and adventure.
Find out what the groom has always wanted to do. There is usually something that he has only dreamed of doing and this may be his last chance to do it with his buddies. If for example, he is a racecar fan, there are places you can go to take a quick driving course and then actually get out on the racetrack in a racecar.
Plan a trip with the groom and a few of his best friends to go fishing or hunting or just camping. Being out-of-doors in a natural setting can give men time to bond and to share thoughts and goals that they rarely get time or occasion to do together. Plan for a weekend close to the wedding date. Make sure everyone has arranged ahead for time off from work and then surprise the groom - like an ambush. Take away everyone's cell phone and hand held electronic games for the duration of the trip. Make the meals simple and throw in a few beers if that fits the crowd you are going with. Take a video camera to capture the special moments. Plan a couple of starter activities like fishing, boating or hunting in season.
Find an organization that builds homes or fixes up public parks that are in real need of a sprucing up. The groom's church may already sponsor a project or know of one. If not, there are usually a number of these organizations in larger communities. You may even consider going out of state for a week to a disaster area or across the border to a squatter settlement.
The key element is that the groom and his friends get away and do some physical work for a really good cause. Document the bachelor party in some way. Disposable cameras are great for this as anyone can use them and then give copies to each man who participates. This is certainly a lot cooler than everyone getting so drunk no one can remember what the did the night before.

Bachelor Party Ideas

While there are still would be grooms, who opt to spend the last hours before their wedding partying with alcohol and female exotic dancers, many men are choosing a less traditional route such as camping trips, sporting events, daredevil activities and even co-ed bachelor parties that include the soon to be bride and her friends. These types of activities are much less likely to get the groom in trouble with his bride not to mention that they won't leave the groom feeling too sick to even remember his wedding day.
Camping is one alternative to the traditional bachelor party. You may choose to either rough it by backpacking to a location with only the gear on your back to help you survive the elements for a few days or you could choose to drive to a spa facility that offers well appointed cabins and five star gourmet meals. Whichever option you choose, you are bound to have a great deal of time relaxing and enjoying the company of the rest of the participants in your bachelor party. A camping trip offers the groom a quiet atmosphere to reflect with his friends on the journey he is about to take.
Sporting events are another great alternative to the usual bachelor party ideas. You may find that married life does not offer you as much free time to spend with your friends as you used to have so take this chance to enjoy a little bit of fun with your friends. Whether you choose to partake in a sport of your choice or purchase tickets to see your favorite professional athletes it is sure to be a great opportunity to bond with your male friends in the last few days before your wedding. It is wise to try choosing a sport that all of your guests will be able to participate in especially if you plan to include very young or very old guests. In this situation playing a game of football may not be the best idea but taking everyone to play a round of golf might be an activity that all of the guest can enjoy.
Still another activity that translates well into a bachelor party idea is getting a group of friends together to try an adrenaline pumping, activity geared for thrill seekers such as sky diving or white water rafting. The exhilaration gained from these activities coupled with the fear factor makes them a perfect activity for bonding with your friends. These daredevil activities will cause you and your friends to bond during the excitement leading up to the event as well as the thrill of accomplishing a new activity. While these types of activities are great for male bonding, it is important to remember that they are risky activities and there is the danger that you might be hurt during these activities. If this is your bachelor party idea of choice you might want to consider holding your bachelor party well in advance of your wedding to avoid last minute injuries that delay the wedding.
Co-ed bachelor parties that coincide with the bachelorette party are becoming increasingly popular as well. One common practice involving these adjunct parties is to have the bachelors and bachelorettes meet at separate restaurants for dinner and then join each other at a nightclub to cap off the night with some dancing and a few drinks. These types of parties can be a great deal of fun because they allow both the bride and the groom some time apart to spend time with their friends and then they reunite the couple at the end of the night in a chance for them to spend time with all of their friends without the pomp and circumstance that is likely to accompany their wedding reception.

Two Great Bachelor Party Ideas

Getting married is one of the biggest dreams a girl could have in her life. With that, you can expect the bride to be very busy in doing a lot of things, especially with all the wedding preparations she has to attend to. If you are one of the bride's best pals, then you should organize a memorable bachelorette party for her, to help her relax just before the big day would arrive.
There are a lot of ideas you can come up with for a fun bachelorette party. One of which is to plan a lingerie party for the bride. Such kind of party would require you to enlist a company, to provide you with consultants who will take care of all the things that are needed for the party. These consultants will go to the venue you set up for your bachelorette party. It can be your home, or another place, where there is ample space. If you are going to rent a particular venue, then make sure to book it for the whole night, since such a party can really go to great lengths.
What the consultants would do is to bring different lines of lingerie for the guests to try on. The guests who will wear it should model them in front of all the people included in the party. With this, you need to make sure that your friends and guests would be game enough to wear lingerie in front of all the other guests. It should not take you a lot of convincing since all the people in the party would all be females. Now, the party just does not stop in modeling these items in front of the crowd. The purpose of modeling them is to convince some of the folks to purchase some of the items displayed. This would be a good chance for the guests to purchase something sexy for the bride, which she can probably wear on her honeymoon, or the few nights after the wedding day.
Keep in mind that if you push through with such a theme party, you should ask the consultants some questions to make sure that every thing would go smooth. One of the things you should not forget in asking them is the length of time that would take for the items to be delivered to the bride to be. You do not want your gift to arrive at the bride's doorstep after the wedding day, since it would be stale. Aside from that, you should also consider the kind of consultants you enlist. You should also check out their products, since nobody would want to buy a gift that is substandard in quality.
If you want to spice up the bachelorette party more, you can always mix the lingerie party with an adult novelty party theme. You can actually choose between them or combine them as one. With an adult novelty party, the guests would be looking at catalogues for sex toys. They can also make a purchase of such items and provide them as gifts to the bride. This would work if the bride is someone who is open minded and has a good grasp on her sexuality.

Bachelor Party Ideas For a Heck of a Night

A bachelor party, also known as a stag party, a stag night, bulls' party, bucks party, or bucks night is a party held for a man, who shortly is going to quit bachelorhood and commence conjugal life. The party is to give him the last opportunity to engage in activities a new wife might not approve of.
A bachelor party involves activities like drinking alcohol, dancing, gambling, and playing pranks on the future groom and hiring female strippers or escorts. The fun lies in not letting the groom have any idea of what is in store for him.
The best man or the brother of the groom-to-be, or any one of his male friends organizes the bachelor party.
Some bachelor party ideas to make a night for the groom-to-be a never-to-forget experience are given below:
Strippers and Strip Clubs: Invite strippers and escorts. However, it can be some times hazardous as the groom-to-be, in spite of his best efforts, may have sex with one or more of the strippers and then repent for having broken the bride-to-be's trust in him. It should be remembered that the original purpose of a bachelor's party was to permit the groom-to-be have a last night of debauchery. A better strippers' idea would be to go to a strip club where it would be difficult for indulging in a sexual act.
Another bachelor party idea is to organize a tournament of basketball, baseball, golf or any other game all can play. Book a suitable court or venue for the purpose and provide T-shirts of different colors for the competing teams. The tournament will be a good male-bonding activity. Also it will build up a good appetite for drinks and food to follow.
Drag Races: The groom and his other bachelor friends can get into cars and race along the speedways. Alternatively, they can even ride bicycles and race one another on dirt roads. In either case have fun by stopping at several pubs and quenching thirsts.
Outdoor activities: Depending on the availability of infrastructure and facilities, any one of these bachelor party ideas could be chosen: fishing; trekking and mountain climbing; boating and rafting; skydiving and bungee jumping; skiing and snowboarding.
Co-ed activities: For bachelor party of this kind, the bride-to-be and her friends are invited to the bachelor party. Such a party commences with dancing and after feasting usually ends in promiscuity.

Bachelor Party Ideas - Give Your Buddy an Unforgettable Last Night With the Boys

Are you the best man, best buddy, or childhood friend of the groom? Whatever the case, make sure he leaves bachelordom with a bang by planning him a killer bachelor party! Even if you don't want naked women to be involved in the party (although that is the aim for most guys), you can still plan a fun, memorable event. Here are some tips about how to plan and what kind of supplies you can use to throw a party that your buddy will never forget.
Party Planning Tips
Make sure to schedule and plan the bachelor party well before the big day. Usually it's a good idea to schedule the party around one month prior to the wedding date. The bride and the families involved in the wedding won't be too happy to find the groom hung over on the big day or fighting with the bride because she is suspicious about the prior evening's events.
Good bachelor party planning will ensure that you have a smooth running party. Parties planned at the last minute tend to fall apart so make sure to prepare everything from the transportation to the food well beforehand. Have everyone besides the groom chip in to cover all costs before the party date so you aren't stuck footing the bill. You'll want to start off the night with a meal to stay energized and to offset the effects of all of the alcohol you'll likely be consuming.
Time-Tested Party Ideas
The quintessential party idea is hiring a stripper or going to a strip club. Although private, in-room entertainment is nice, it can be expensive so you may want to head to a strip club if you are on a budget. Another big perk of going to a public strip club is that the bride will be less worried about the groom breaking her trust. Not all the guys (or their girlfriends/wives) you invite are going to be enthusiastic about the presence of naked women at the party. Make sure to plan other fun activities so they still get a chance to participate in the festivities. Some other fun activities include going out for a "last supper" and playing poker.
Some fun bachelor party supplies that you'll want to consider are memorabilia such as a shot glass that says, "My last night out." The groom can wear this shot glass around his neck and he's bound to get plenty of free alcohol! Mardi gras beads are also great party supplies if you want to get people of the opposite sex to strip down without even having to hire a stripper. If you want to avoid angering the bride-to-be, don't hire a stripper and buy a plastic blow-up doll instead for innocent yet naughty fun. You can handcuff the groom to a Pamela Anderson or Paris Hilton blow-up doll at the party to score some laughs.
Other fun supplies you might want to get are games. Games like pin the boobies on the babe and playing cards picturing naked women are perfect for bachelors. Sports games are a surefire way to have a great male bonding experience. The party attendees can play sports like soccer, football, basketball, and volleyball in the afternoon to get riled up for the big party. After the big game, you can go get washed up and reunite to head out for the night's fun activities.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Truth About Finding The Magic Of Living Your Dream


Driving through the wooded back roads in rural Florida to the destination of a prospective client was a blessing for me as my soul was soothed while listening to the orchestra of Mother Nature. The gentleman had called twice asking for an appointment. He wanted to buy final expense insurance.
I drove round the next bend in the road and there it was, a cute little cottage with a wraparound front porch and two rocking chairs. Almost reminded me of my Grandma's home. As I was getting out of the car, I heard the screech of the screen door open. The gentleman and his wife came out to greet me.
This was a nice peaceful place to be at that moment, until the gentleman made the comment that life had been nothing but hopeless for the last forty years. As his wife dropped her head I saw the tears streaming down her face.
I listened intently as he shared his story with me. Years ago he had worked with a man named Ray Kroc. Mr. Kroc approached this gentleman after work one day and asked him to invest ten thousand dollars in a new business venture. It so happened that the gentleman and his wife had saved exactly ten thousand dollars. Excited about this new venture the gentleman hurried home to share the good news with his wife. Her reaction was not what he had expected. His wife reacted beyond anger according to his story. She absolutely would not let her husband take their savings and squander the money on some crazy nonsense.
Ray Kroc found investors and we know the story. The gentleman sitting in the rocking chair in front of me that day had worked at the same place the majority of his life. Now he and his wife were living on Social Security with no investments. He looked into my eyes as his tears welled, he said the day that he told Ray Kroc he couldn't invest was the day he lost hope for any success in life. Instead of following his gut feeling, he allowed the anger from his wife to steal his dream.
Phantoms instill in us fear, guilt, shame, and hopelessness. We allow them to take a very personal, private part of who we are. We were given the gift of choice to create a life of fulfillment. Unfortunately we cave to the negative and dark energy of Phantoms. The consequence is loss of our hopes and dreams.
There is a light at the dark end of the hopeless tunnel wherein we're trapped. We can look directly into the light of Gratefulness and take back our hope and our dream. It only takes thirty days to form a new habit. Each morning when we wake we thank God for our blessings and the blessings that await us that day. Each night before sleeping we thank God for our blessings and our blessings to come. Within thirty days we will see a significant change in our lives. Gratefulness works. Go on give it a try.

The Truth About Finding The Magic Of Living Your Dream


Driving through the wooded back roads in rural Florida to the destination of a prospective client was a blessing for me as my soul was soothed while listening to the orchestra of Mother Nature. The gentleman had called twice asking for an appointment. He wanted to buy final expense insurance.
I drove round the next bend in the road and there it was, a cute little cottage with a wraparound front porch and two rocking chairs. Almost reminded me of my Grandma's home. As I was getting out of the car, I heard the screech of the screen door open. The gentleman and his wife came out to greet me.
This was a nice peaceful place to be at that moment, until the gentleman made the comment that life had been nothing but hopeless for the last forty years. As his wife dropped her head I saw the tears streaming down her face.
I listened intently as he shared his story with me. Years ago he had worked with a man named Ray Kroc. Mr. Kroc approached this gentleman after work one day and asked him to invest ten thousand dollars in a new business venture. It so happened that the gentleman and his wife had saved exactly ten thousand dollars. Excited about this new venture the gentleman hurried home to share the good news with his wife. Her reaction was not what he had expected. His wife reacted beyond anger according to his story. She absolutely would not let her husband take their savings and squander the money on some crazy nonsense.
Ray Kroc found investors and we know the story. The gentleman sitting in the rocking chair in front of me that day had worked at the same place the majority of his life. Now he and his wife were living on Social Security with no investments. He looked into my eyes as his tears welled, he said the day that he told Ray Kroc he couldn't invest was the day he lost hope for any success in life. Instead of following his gut feeling, he allowed the anger from his wife to steal his dream.
Phantoms instill in us fear, guilt, shame, and hopelessness. We allow them to take a very personal, private part of who we are. We were given the gift of choice to create a life of fulfillment. Unfortunately we cave to the negative and dark energy of Phantoms. The consequence is loss of our hopes and dreams.
There is a light at the dark end of the hopeless tunnel wherein we're trapped. We can look directly into the light of Gratefulness and take back our hope and our dream. It only takes thirty days to form a new habit. Each morning when we wake we thank God for our blessings and the blessings that await us that day. Each night before sleeping we thank God for our blessings and our blessings to come. Within thirty days we will see a significant change in our lives. Gratefulness works. Go on give it a try.

Wanna Get High? It Just Takes Blisscipline! 8 Tips for a Happier Life


The other day I had gotten myself into such a blissful state people would have thought I was high on (add drug here). Even I though I was a bit over the top crazy-blissed out like I'd never been before, I was so happy I couldn't give a rats patootie. I felt phenomenal and everything and everyone that came into contact with me were influenced to the same feeling. It was as if I had the Midas touch. No it wasn't as if...I had the Midas touch.
So how do you get to this place of bliss?
Well first it takes knowing that you can change your state at anytime. And by change your state I mean you can feel the way you want to feel. And by changing how you feel, you change what you experience in your world.
Do you believe that your thoughts & emotions create?
Do you know that how you feel is everything? The universe is responding to your vibration. Not your words or your actions specifically, but to the vibration you are emitting. By vibration I mean energy. You are energy and the state of your energy is what attracts the circumstances and people in your life. However blissful or lackluster.
So let's get high!
Tip #1. And in my world this is the most important tip. You have to love yourself just as you are. Look at yourself in the mirror. Look deep into your eyes past any faults you usually see in yourself and see that you are so much more. See who is truly looking back at you. Source, God, Spirit, that power within or whatever you identify with is looking back through your eyes. It is who you truly are. Make it a practice to remember who is truly there within you and ask often "how does Source see me" or "how does Source see this person or situation." I like to ask WWLD, "What Would Love Do?" or better WWLT, "What Would Love Think?"
Tip #2 Choose to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind. Make it a habit. Train your mind to think good feeling thoughts. When you find yourself thinking negatively, ask yourself "are these thoughts worthy of my attention?" There are a lot of thoughts that are so unworthy. Think "Are these thoughts worth my health, worth my happiness, worth my joy, worth me giving up things going well for me?" Most of the time, the answer is going to be "hell no!" Turn your attention to any thought that feels better or gives you relief. Cultivate happiness.
Tip#3 Laugh at yourself often. Life isn't that serious!! You create your reality. Change the game that is your life. Laugh at yourself when you start thinking thoughts that are not true about yourself. Clown those self doubts and that negative thinking. When you take things more lightly and have more fun you shift your energy and you put yourself in a place for attracting thoughts that serve you, people who are light and fun themselves, ideas that are brilliant & exciting, solutions that are easy to act on, and resources to handle your needs.
Tip#4 Affirm the truth about yourself. Speak the best about who you are. Here's what I know about you. You are brilliant, beautiful, creative, loved, prosperous and so damn powerful! Do you know that?
Tip #5 Find ways to relax. Do some deep breathing, meditate, go for a walk, exercise, make love (well you'll be relaxed afterwards), write, visualize the life you want, watch a movie you love, pick a word like "love" and focus on it, anything that puts you at ease. Remember the Source within you is relaxed not worried, hurried or affected by any outside circumstances and when you relax you experience that same calm & knowing.
Tip #6 Go on an appreciation rampage. Just go crazy thinking of anything to appreciate about your life, your surroundings, yourSELF, the people you love, the birds, the trees, not getting pulled over for running that stop sign... whatever.
Tip #7 Have fun. Go do the things that bring you the most joy. Dance, sing, laugh, play, party, watch something funny... shut out the reality that is bugging the hell outta you for a moment and enjoy yourself. Remember how you feel is a direct reflection of what shows up in your world. Your world reflects how you consistently feel.

She Was Not So Deer to Me


In the region of North Idaho between the cities of Coeur d'Alene and Kellogg, there lies a beautiful stretch of river known as the North Fork of the Coeur d'Alene River. Here is where an unusual event took place between me and a not so dear deer.
There are many wonderful campsites along the North Fork that offer spacious secluded spots with many of them sitting right on the banks of this crystal clear river. Some of these sites have campground hosts and charge a small fee per night for your stay. Many of the sites are free and this is where I chose to stay for my weekend adventure. The site had great shade, a perfect swimming hole and was off the road enough so I thought I would not be disturbed by any humans so I could enjoy a nice quiet couple of days. Well, it was not the humans I should have been concerned about after all. I never thought a small female deer could be so much trouble.
It all started on my first night while I was having a nice camp dinner of spaghetti, garlic bread and salad. In the middle of my feast, I left the campsite for a minute to get some water from the river. Down at the river, I heard a sound coming from my camp table. I forgot about getting my water and hurried back to my table only to find my dinner on the ground with a beautiful doe munching on the spaghetti. I was quiet and watched her eat the rest of my food and when she was done, she sniffed around the campsite for a while and slowly meandered down the river bank.
This was fun and exciting for me to see and I was thankful for the experience until the next morning. What a great feeling it is to wake up to the sound of a rushing river and the crisp mountain air, I thought, as I began cooking my breakfast of scrambled eggs, potatoes and bacon. The coffee was perfect, the breakfast tasted better than any other and once again, I found myself in the presence of my dear deer friend. With her nose up in the air sniffing the aroma of my cooking, she seemed to have little fear of me. As beautiful as this deer was, I shooed her off so I could actually finish this meal but my shooing did little to keep her away from my table. The doe would not come up to me but she did come within three or four feet with her mouth watering and her lips smacking. I gave in to her hunger and threw her some eggs and potatoes. She gobbled this food down quickly and wanted more. "That's all you get!" I told her and she eventually left but not before relieving herself of some of her pellets on my site.
I love to hike more than just about anything in my life so after breakfast, I set off for a short five mile excursion along a trail that went to a gorgeous mountain meadow well above the river. After two or three hours of some great scenery and rugged terrain, I was back at the campsite ready for a snack and a cool drink. Normally when I camp, I am not too worried about putting my cooler away until I go to bed so I had left it out under my table. Like I said, normally this is fine but not this weekend. My cooler had been tipped completely over with food and ice scattered everywhere. Plastic wrappings that held a variety of different food items had been chewed open and whatever was in them was gone. The only thing left was my raw eggs and bacon. I did not even think twice about who the burglar of my food was. Can you guess?
I was not really upset about this and it gave a great story to tell you. Luckily, there was a small store and restaurant just down the road a few miles so In case you were worried if I starved that weekend, I did not. I did learn a valuable lesson about putting away my food when leaving the campsite. I also learned from a forest ranger that I was not the only person in the area that had been visited by this deer. The doe had been going around to many of the campsites the entire summer and had actually had been given a name from a group of campers a few weeks prior to my visit. The name they chose was Frita, for the deer's insatiable love of Fritos.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Time Poverty - Reconnecting to Life, Energy and Joy


Regardless of financial status, many people claim to be "time poor." They regularly report not having enough time. To combat this "time poverty" there are some people promoting a "Slow Movement." The core of this endeavor is based on reconnecting with life. People are searching for connections, connections to people, places, and things important to them. The need to be part of something bigger than self, to be connected to all that it means to live, is at the heart of a living a connected life.
Throughout history, lives were interconnected, and in many traditional cultures, they still are. At one time, extended families were common out of necessity and tradition. This developed a generational connectedness. As culture changed, the need to stay as an extended family unit was no longer a necessity. People left home for work or marriage, and created separate lives away from their families.
Lifestyles began to speed up as advances in living made travel and communication more accessible to everyone. The accelerated pace people choose to live, has weakened many deeper connections. Technological advances have also changed how and where people work. In this society, it is possible to be around people, while never making a meaningful connection. In many cities, this is the norm. People shuffle from place to place while never acknowledging the presence of the other. Living fast, creates isolated existences, in areas once shared by family and community.
While technological advances have saved people hours in their day, many use this time to become even busier, and more isolated instead of using it to enrich and enjoy connections in life. People are becoming task-driven instead of relationship driven. It is this ability to stay in fast-forward motion, which leads to overscheduling, stress, and rushing towards the next task. This task-focused rushing, affects all areas of life from eating, family time and work life, to even leisure activity.
The "Slow Movement" is about cultivating a cultural shift towards slowing down and experiencing the simple pleasures of life. Residents of the old South understood this principle. It was customary for Southerners to sit with guests and relax. Nothing had to be done or discussed, they simply passed time together. Even their speech was slower, giving way to the "Southern Drawl." In earlier eras, "slow" was a way of life.
Families and friends regularly gathered for meals and long social visits. Eating was not a task to be hurried. It was a pleasure to enjoy. Conversation did not need an agenda; it was light, easy, and unstructured. No one looked at his or her watch or had to rush, because this was the moment of the day, for which everyone was looking forward.
The simple pleasure of relaxed conversations with people you cared about was recharging to the batteries, it restored balance and provided soul-nurturing connections. When was the last time you made a soul nurturing connection with anyone? Most have squeezed out time for such, in the dogged pursuit of more and faster.
It makes one wonder, if in the pursuit for something more, people have lost touch with what they already had. Today people force themselves and others into whatever their hectic schedule will allow. Following a natural rhythm, and reconnecting with what is important is what the slow movement hopes recapture.
Recognizing the disconnection and the accelerated pace of ones life is an important first step in re-establishing connection and slowing the pace. The goal is to discover how to slow down and still manage personal responsibilities. Essentially, the answer to restoring such balance is to develop mindfulness in daily behaviors, to take time to savor the moment and establish meaningful connection.
The barrier to slow living comes from the chain of behavior that allows you to live fast. Each fast aspect of life is necessary for other fast aspects to happen. Over time, people are conditioned into thinking they need, or even must be fast and have, what the fast life provides. However, deeper examination usually reveals the truth: Connectedness is more valuable than any material possession.

Strong Communities - General Introduction


Growing up in a strong community or neighborhood instills all of the desirable morals in the fabric of humanity. Although many communities developed over time in a quite natural progression, human evolution tends to chip away at the network of inter-personal relationships over time. Rebuilding such strong neighborhoods - although relatively simple - is not an easy task.
The community in whole must generally and genuinely be interested in the strength of the group; individuals must understand and appreciate the similarities and differences between each other, and value the social interactions, rapport, comraderie, and larger village above - or at least at the same level as - their individual desires. These characteristics will result in life-long friendships, memories, self-confidence, social savvy, and sense of belonging.
To build, or re-build, as the case may be, a strong community, there must also be a balance of commerce. Businesses make up an integral part of the functioning of any viable society. While a hamlet must be large enough to support its businesses, the storekeepers and residents must value each other and respect the importance of their own reliance on each other. In our fast-pace and hurried lives, it becomes very easy to pass by the neighborhood apothecary or grocer on our way to the super center. Doing this, however, weakens the district businesses and damages the small-town relationships.
Now, more than ever, it is very important - vital, in fact - to slow down in our own neighborhoods to do our shopping before we bring our hard-earned cash to a less appreciative big box chain conglomerate. Local shops struggle to profit since their volume is much less than the high-profile big-banners, and they must weigh their prices carefully so that profit margin doesn't discourage repeat patronage. Often unsung benefits to the community stem from the mom-and-pop store neighborhood - specifically generosity. Similarly, the corner store is more likely to hire from within the borough than from without, and is less likely to dismiss employees as "just a number", than the 1-acre warehouse large-cart competitors.
There is, of course, something to be said about the affordability of the monstrous department stores, but at what price to we save money? The neighbor-owned deli is within walking distance, so the price of gasoline doesn't matter. The local proprietor is more likely to help out at the school play or coach for your son's baseball team. The independent hardware reseller is more likely to help you out with a flat tire or congratulate you on your daughter's graduation.
Business owners must also work harder to know their communities. It's important for them to remember their customers - preferably by name. They need to know their frequenters' purchasing habits, shopping trends, and personal quarks. When customers are greeted by first name, they inherently become more loyal. The success of a small shop often comes down to personal relationships, caring quality, and repeat consumers.
Residents must also work to establish bonds of friendship with their neighbors. Saying "Hello", rather than deliberately avoiding eye contact, is a very useful social skill. Random acts of kindness also fortify relationships and catalyze reciprocity. Becoming involved in neighborhood associations, charitable causes, philanthropy, sports associations, community clubs, neighborhood watch groups, and social clubs is a very effective way of strengthening ties. This will also encourage others to do the same.
Getting to know neighbors can also reap other benefits. You may have a hammer but need an axe; pre-established friendships with a neighbor will make it easier to ask that neighbor to borrow an axe - and it will be easier for the neighbor to have enough trust to say "yes". If you're having a barbeque, invite a neighbor - perhaps one whom you've never met before. Knowing a little bit about each of your neighbors may come in handy someday; by establishing better relationships, our network of assets expands. People who network within their community have an easier time finding a last-minute baby sitter or a place for the kids to swim for a few hours.
Small gestures are sometimes very powerful. For instance, a new-to-the-neighborhood family moved in across from my parents. They were, like so many young families, struggling to balance their finances. When they bought the house, they had some unexpected expenses and couldn't afford to buy a snow blower. When the first snow storm hit, my father finished his driveway and had a compulsion to clean that neighbor's driveway as well. After a light winter of only five significant snow storms, the very appreciative neighbors learned a few lessons about home-ownership and about community. Several years passed by and nothing than brief small talk occurred after that. One day, probably more than nine years later, my father was unable to take care of his driveway. Very concerned, my parents and siblings and I put a plan together (we lived an average of 15 minutes away). However, when the first snow storm landed, not one but three neighbors generously handled the task very early that morning (actually, for the whole winter).

Strong Communities - General Introduction


Growing up in a strong community or neighborhood instills all of the desirable morals in the fabric of humanity. Although many communities developed over time in a quite natural progression, human evolution tends to chip away at the network of inter-personal relationships over time. Rebuilding such strong neighborhoods - although relatively simple - is not an easy task.
The community in whole must generally and genuinely be interested in the strength of the group; individuals must understand and appreciate the similarities and differences between each other, and value the social interactions, rapport, comraderie, and larger village above - or at least at the same level as - their individual desires. These characteristics will result in life-long friendships, memories, self-confidence, social savvy, and sense of belonging.
To build, or re-build, as the case may be, a strong community, there must also be a balance of commerce. Businesses make up an integral part of the functioning of any viable society. While a hamlet must be large enough to support its businesses, the storekeepers and residents must value each other and respect the importance of their own reliance on each other. In our fast-pace and hurried lives, it becomes very easy to pass by the neighborhood apothecary or grocer on our way to the super center. Doing this, however, weakens the district businesses and damages the small-town relationships.
Now, more than ever, it is very important - vital, in fact - to slow down in our own neighborhoods to do our shopping before we bring our hard-earned cash to a less appreciative big box chain conglomerate. Local shops struggle to profit since their volume is much less than the high-profile big-banners, and they must weigh their prices carefully so that profit margin doesn't discourage repeat patronage. Often unsung benefits to the community stem from the mom-and-pop store neighborhood - specifically generosity. Similarly, the corner store is more likely to hire from within the borough than from without, and is less likely to dismiss employees as "just a number", than the 1-acre warehouse large-cart competitors.
There is, of course, something to be said about the affordability of the monstrous department stores, but at what price to we save money? The neighbor-owned deli is within walking distance, so the price of gasoline doesn't matter. The local proprietor is more likely to help out at the school play or coach for your son's baseball team. The independent hardware reseller is more likely to help you out with a flat tire or congratulate you on your daughter's graduation.
Business owners must also work harder to know their communities. It's important for them to remember their customers - preferably by name. They need to know their frequenters' purchasing habits, shopping trends, and personal quarks. When customers are greeted by first name, they inherently become more loyal. The success of a small shop often comes down to personal relationships, caring quality, and repeat consumers.
Residents must also work to establish bonds of friendship with their neighbors. Saying "Hello", rather than deliberately avoiding eye contact, is a very useful social skill. Random acts of kindness also fortify relationships and catalyze reciprocity. Becoming involved in neighborhood associations, charitable causes, philanthropy, sports associations, community clubs, neighborhood watch groups, and social clubs is a very effective way of strengthening ties. This will also encourage others to do the same.
Getting to know neighbors can also reap other benefits. You may have a hammer but need an axe; pre-established friendships with a neighbor will make it easier to ask that neighbor to borrow an axe - and it will be easier for the neighbor to have enough trust to say "yes". If you're having a barbeque, invite a neighbor - perhaps one whom you've never met before. Knowing a little bit about each of your neighbors may come in handy someday; by establishing better relationships, our network of assets expands. People who network within their community have an easier time finding a last-minute baby sitter or a place for the kids to swim for a few hours.
Small gestures are sometimes very powerful. For instance, a new-to-the-neighborhood family moved in across from my parents. They were, like so many young families, struggling to balance their finances. When they bought the house, they had some unexpected expenses and couldn't afford to buy a snow blower. When the first snow storm hit, my father finished his driveway and had a compulsion to clean that neighbor's driveway as well. After a light winter of only five significant snow storms, the very appreciative neighbors learned a few lessons about home-ownership and about community. Several years passed by and nothing than brief small talk occurred after that. One day, probably more than nine years later, my father was unable to take care of his driveway. Very concerned, my parents and siblings and I put a plan together (we lived an average of 15 minutes away). However, when the first snow storm landed, not one but three neighbors generously handled the task very early that morning (actually, for the whole winter).

Don't Be A Slave To Habit - Part 1 Of A 2 Part Series


n part, 1 of this two-part series, we will examine how all of us are slaves to habit. In some cases, this can be a dreadful thing, especially if the habit is terrible for you or bad for those around you. In part, 2, we'll discuss ways to break these habits, to improve your quality of life by improving your behavior and controlling your compulsions.
After all, in one way or another, we're all slaves to habit. Take me, for example. It's 4am again, my usual wake-up time. The dogs, the other two creatures of habit who share my abode, are whining and scratching my bedroom door ready to do their business. If I don't hurry up, there will be a mess to clean up, and I certainly don't want that. Their habit dictates my actions. So I routinely get up and take them for their walk, hoping I don't run into anyone at that hour. Upon seeing me, both dogs go in circles of pleasure, running toward the door. Thank God, a few minutes later, the deed is finally done. Maybe I can sit down now and go on Facebook to see what's going on in the world while the coffee is brewing. I always have an irresistible addiction of checking my Facebook whenever I am on the computer, even before I drink my coffee for the morning. I immediately log in, but don't see any messages or notifications, not even a single post from anyone. What? No Good Morning for me today? My self-esteem takes a dive. I'm so used to getting a Good Morning from one of my friends on Facebook, as I'm in the habit of saying Good Night to everyone when I sign off of Facebook. Today, there were no responses.
I'm devastated.
Is it time to unfriend a few people? Doesn't that sound like someone who has an addiction? For some reason, I don't feel loved, and I thought I was Miss Popularity. Boo Hoo. Oh well, there's a lot of sadness in this world. I'll just have to deal with it. I'm wondering where my keyboard is. I'm sure it was here on my desk before I went to bed. AH! There it is, hanging off the desk, and the mouse too. My dog Buddy must have knocked it off my desk while sniffing for crumbs from the crackers I ate last night. He does that a lot. It's 5am now. All the same I have two more hours to go on Facebook. Oh goody, maybe I'll still get one Good Morning from someone who values me as a friend before I start preparing to go to work.
My neighbor who lives above me has a grandfather clock. The gong can be heard every hour on the hour. Amazing how this clock is a creature of exact mechanical habit. To be habitual is to be at best an efficient machine, utterly unable to do anything except make the wheel go around, running one's life pattern along its own course of action, eventually leading to a loss of richness in experience, making life a mere repeated monotony. After so many years, I am now used to the gong. At the moment I hear my neighbor moving about, to and from, zigzagging back and forth along the squeaking floors like the swinging pendulum in her clock. I find it very distracting. I am concentrating more on her habitual pattern than on what I am doing on Facebook.
It's precisely 5:45am now, there she goes, right on time, rushing down the wooden stairs in her high- heeled shoes, slamming the door as usual as she hurries through the five blocks between here and the 6:00am bus that goes to the Port Authority in Manhattan. I say to myself, what if one of her heels should break (not that I am wishing it), then what? This lady is definitely a creature of habit. This would bring her day to a halt, temporarily shocking her pre-programmed mind. After a short break to readjust, after going back to her apartment to find another pair of shoes, the ignition will spark, the wheels start whirling, and once again, she'll find herself moving along more quickly in an effort to catch the next bus. She's a slave to habit as we all are, in bondage to that acquired behavioral pattern that we follow to the point of involuntary servitude. These habituations are mechanical and routine, and many of us do not wish to change them.
First and foremost, let me identify the word "habituations" which is the "reduction of psychological or behavioral response occurring when a specific stimulus occurs repeatedly."
To be honest, most of the life is habitual. Habit is simply a thoughtless routine that we abide by on a daily basis. This includes the same things we did yesterday and the day before and the day before that and so forth, we continue these things today automatically. For example, here are some routine habits many people share: getting ready to go to work, getting ready to go to bed at night or getting the kids off to school. When the kids come home from school, they might have a habit of throwing their jacket wherever it lands or leaving their shoes where others can fall over them. Even many adults take their clothes off and drop them on the floor or on the sofa, leaving them there until the next day or when laundry day comes around. After taking a shower the wet towel gets tossed onto the bathroom counter, to become a decorative accent to the room until you clean the house because company is coming.
We are also creatures of habit at work, from the time we arrive we are in the habit of looking at the clock. We watch it and we are governed by it. We watch the clock for waiting for our coffee break to arrive, then we hurry back from our break, staring at the clock again, counting the minutes until lunch time. We hurry off to lunch only to watch the clock to make sure that we get back in time Finally, after staring at the clock all day, the end of the day arrives and we rush to our cars so we can be the first one to get out of the parking lot. Of course we need to chat on our cell phones on the way out, free at last, no longer slave to work habits, now we are simply slaves to our own personal routine.

Jesus Can Still Heal Even When It's Too Late


I have a standing agreement with the airlines. If I'm not there by departure time, they are supposed to go ahead and leave without me. So far, I've never missed a departure. I missed a connection over 30 years ago (and they left without me), but I didn't miss my initial departure!
How many times have you come upon a situation when it was too late? You were too late to enroll in a class or too late to avoid a parking ticket? Have you ever been too late to a concert, game or event and you weren't allowed in because the doors were closed?
In Matthew 9:23-26; Mark 5:35-43; Luke 8:49-56, Jairus has come to Jesus to ask Him to heal his dying daughter. Jesus has agreed to come, but is interrupted by the touch of a woman with a bleeding problem. Jesus pauses to assure her of her healing while Jairus is waiting. Let's look at this situation from Jairus' perspective.
Hurry Jesus, I Need You NOW! Mark 5:35-36 Luke 8:49-50
Jesus, come quickly! My daughter is dying and I need you to come and heal her before its too late. I'm a synagogue ruler and a very important leader in this community. I can help you in Capernaum and the surrounding area if you come and heal her NOW! But you must hurry! She is very close to death!
How often do you and I go before God and beg for His immediate intervention in a situation that we perceive to be a crisis? None of this is news to God. He saw it coming. He knows all about it and He is right there with you as you are going through the anxiety, fear and other emotions. He knows what the outcome is going to be and He will stand beside you through the entire ordeal regardless of the outcome.
Why Are You Stopping? - Matthew 9:23-24a; Mark 5:37-39; Luke 8:21-52
Jesus, why are you stopping? What do you mean someone touched you? Can't you see that there are hundreds of people bumping into us as we are trying to get to my house? Many of them have touched You. Why are You stopping? Hurry up, my daughter is dying and I need you to save her NOW!
Jesus, this is some old woman. Her life is almost over. My daughter is only twelve years old. She has her entire life ahead of her. This old woman is not important in this community. She hardly gives anything to the synagogue. Stop wasting time trying to find out why she touched you and lets get on to my house. Hurry! I live just over there!
We often think that our issues are more important than anyone else's. We will also get caught up in the urgency of our need, and forget that there may be others who's needs are as great or even greater than ours. We sometimes try to make comparisons and think ourselves more (or less) worthy than that person. Fortunately, God is a lot smarter than we are. How often does your own agenda outweigh anyone else's?
It's Too Late! You Took Too Long! Matthew 9:24b-26; Mark 5:38-43; Luke 8:53-56
Jesus, it's too late! My servant just came and told me that my daughter is dead. You can go now. If only You hadn't let that old lady wait and hurried to my house? Don't you realize that I can do a lot to help you? Why did you have to stop? My daughter was so young and had so much life before her.

Losing My Beloved Dog - How Do You Say Goodbye to Your Best Friend?


It was a month ago that we had made the decision to put our beloved Maggie, an Australian shepherd mix to "sleep". This was one of the hardest decisions that we had to make. After 16 years, how do you say goodbye to your best friend? The one that has been there through all the ups and downs in life. All the good, the bad, (and the ugly). The one who went everywhere with you, who loved to listen to you sing (She was tone-deaf) and the one who would just sit and listen when you needed to talk. She was my protector and my nurse when I was sick. She was truly my best friend.
But she was getting old, and arthritis has settled in, and she had lost weight, and started to lose control of her bladder.
In my head I knew what I had to do and so did my husband, but our hearts...WOW, that was another story. It's not that cut and dry. We did not want to let go... We did not want to lose our beloved dog, but knew it was time. Her quality of life was not good and we had to think of her and not be selfish. (Even though I wanted to). I worried about how our other dog (Ellie, a Border Collie/Queensland healer) would react? Ellie is only 4 and had grown up with Maggie. She had never been on her own without her big sister. Maggie has always been in her life.
This was tough, and I had talked to friends about when they were faced with having to put their dog down... They were not with their dog when it was euthanized, and the only choice they had, was to cremate the dog. They were not given a choice. Then the ashes were given back to them in a Ziploc bag. It was not a good experience for them and the cost of all this was quite expensive.
This was not the experience I wanted. Not only for me, but for Maggie. I wanted to be there. I wanted, to be able to hold her so she wouldn't be scared. I couldn't hand her off to strangers, I needed to be there. I also wanted to bury her in the yard. This is where she needed to be. She loved her yard.
So I called a few places and found a place that would let us be there if that is what we wanted. When talking to them on the phone, they also asked if I wanted a back yard burial. I did and yes! I found a place that was going to let me be with her and then take here home. They let me know what the cost was (which was not expensive, especially since I don't think that they should charge much for a service like this). They said that payment would be done as we came in so that in our grief we did not have to worry about this as we left the clinic and also being in the front among other people.
Now I was OK. For me, it was easier to be able to let go.
On the day we were going to put her down. We went to the clinic and we were brought into a room, we did not have to stay out in the waiting room. Payment was taken care of. They let us know everything that was going to happen, as it is done in 2 stages with 2 shots.
They let us have as much time as we wanted with Maggie. She was relaxed and peaceful. She was in our arms. She felt no pain; she was not anxious or agitated. And when we were ready to say our last goodbye, they did they gave her the 2nd shot. And she was gone. They allowed us to have time alone with her again... we were not rushed or hurried and when we were able to let go, they came to get her. They took her to another room then wrapped her up in a blanket. We took her home, and then buried her in the yard she loved.
My heart broke that day... It was so hard. And of course I cried my eyes out, as I am doing now as I write this. I miss her. But for me...being able to do this the way I wanted made something that was hard, a little easier. My Heart ached a little less.
As a dog owner this is one of the hardest decisions you will ever make. Make sure that you talk to your vet. That when the time comes, you do it the way you want, and to not let anyone tell you otherwise. Do your research and do what is best for you and your best friend.

A Matter of Integrity and Trust


I encountered a fellow Australian businessman while attending a keynote speaking engagement in the Annual conference for entrepreneurs in Dubai last July. After completing my assignment, I headed to the airport and by sheer coincident I met Steve (Not his real name) again in the departures' terminal. We continued the spirited conversation we started the evening before at the networking event that followed the conference. As it happened he had booked on the same flight with me to Brisbane. We exchanged business cards and agreed it would be a great idea to stay in touch.
As I preceded to the check-in counter, Steve came rushing to me asking if I can lend him $95USD as he had extra luggage and his ticket only allowed him 30k. Apparently, his credit card has topped, maybe from buying the extra load of gifts and he did not have the cash on him!
I hesitated for a moment. Could I trust him to pay me back? I wondered!
I'd just met Steve and knew very little about him. He'd been talking about the success he was having in his business and I concluded it was a low risk. It was only $95, after all, so if he didn't end up sending me the money, it was no big deal.
I took my credit card out of my wallet and headed to his counter and paid the $95. He said "Thanks so much," and hurried into the terminal.
A few weeks went by and I heard nothing from Steve. Then one day he called and said, "Hey, I owe you some money! Where should I send the check?"
I gave him my mailing address, and he thanked me again for bailing out a fellow Aussie at the airport that day. The check arrived within a couple of days and the next week we deposited it.
I felt good about my decision to help Steve out...and about him... that is, until I got a notice from my bank a few days later saying that his check had bounced and the bank had charged a $20 fee to my account. So now I was out $115!
I called Steve and told him what happened. He sheepishly responded, "I know."
You know?! You mean you already knew the check had bounced and you didn't have the guts to call and tell me? You took the coward's way out and let me find out from my bank so I had to call YOU? What were you thinking?!
I screamed all this inside my head, not to him. Because his next words were, "I'm not very good at managing my money. It turns out I didn't have enough cash in my bank account to cover the check."
What I actually said, after taking a deep breath, was, "Gee, Steve, that's too bad. What needs to happen now is for you to send me a cashier's check or money order for $115, to cover the $95 you owe me, plus the $20 bank fee. I'm not willing to risk getting another personal check from you. I'm sure you can understand."
"Yes, of course. I'll get that to you right away," he assured me.
Four weeks passed. Nothing.
I sent him a short email note, just a reminder that I was expecting a cashier's check or money order and had not received it.
No response.
It was no longer a matter of the money. It was the principle. His actions violated one of my core values: Honor your promises. Do what you say you'll do.
Two weeks later I left another voicemail and emailed him again. This time he actually called back.

How To Be a Parent and a Person - Balancing the Stress of Family Life


Being a busy working mom of three boys, born 21 months apart, is a learning adventure. Some might just say it is crazy! During their infant/toddler years, I found that I was often stressed and overwhelmed. This came to a head after the birth of my third son; I developed clinical post-partum depression. At the time, I did not have the energy to get out of bed and take care of basic tasks. It was debilitating.
I found parenting to be the most frustrating, draining, and thankless job I have ever loved. So much so, that I became enveloped in my life as a dutiful mom and I forgot to care for my own personal needs, or that I even had any.
I was still a person with likes, hopes, dreams, and needs, but at the time they were ALL on the back burner. I began to realize the need to develop outlets that would allow me to continue being me, while still being a wife, mom and homemaker. The problem was that I did not know how.
I needed personal time to build my mood and attitude for the parenting challenges that came with the territory. Not taking time for myself seemed noble, but in reality it left me ill-equipped to handle the emotional, physical toll that came with child rearing. I would find myself snapping at the boys and being emotionally unstable. It left me sinking into a self-imposed prison of sadness and despair.
For the sake of my kids, husband and myself, I had to begin unlocking ways to manage this new lifestyle in a healthier way. I began the process of taking small amounts of time for myself. The first step was admitting I needed a time apart for me. I would purchase uplifting audio tapes and listen to them on a walk outside. This kept my mind engaged while my body was getting what it needed: exercise, sunshine and fresh air.
This respite set the tone for other activities. I began looking for other ways I could express my creative spirit while I was in the midst of parental duties. Small blocks of time away for reading, walking or hobbies were my first outlets. During those times, I did not have to be mom, caregiver, or provider; I was just me. This nurtured my spirit, my soul, who I was on a deeper level.
The next step was developing "now" thinking. Focusing ahead or behind causes anxiety and stress, staying focused only on the task at hand was a way of keeping calm and focused. When my mind would wander, I was more likely see my moods fluctuate and feelings of helplessness and overwhelm return. Now-thinking keeps you at a manageable place, where multiple thoughts can't attack you.
Creating this awareness, then refocusing my thoughts, was a vital part of the process. The last step I took was to seek a calming and re-centering exercise to keep my mind-body-spirit connection strong and healthy. More hurried activity was not what I was looking for, so this led me to yoga and deep breathing exercises. That, combined with relaxation and guided imagery, gave a yin to my yang of hectic family life. I came to enjoy and look forward to this set aside time. This anticipation was also a valuable emotion.
Knowing how to do these things was not enough; it was only when I made time to practice them that I found true benefit from them. I also learned when a person wants to do something badly enough, they will find the time for it. It was not always easy to do, but by fully recognizing how vital this was to my well-being, I was able to make sure that somehow, there would be time to do it.
It did not happen overnight, but it did happen. I began to gain back a greater sense of who I was at the core and why I wanted to have a family in the first place. By creating purposeful balance in small steps, I was able to better appreciate those growing years. And get myself back to a healthful place, not only in body, but in mind, spirit, and emotions.

The Worst Day of My Life


I only had three real possessions. The oldest of the three possessions was a Gibson guitar. When most people think of a Gibson guitar, at least people who know guitars, they think of top of the line, up there with the best. Mine however managed to be the worst. Most of the strings would un-tune after a few minutes, somehow the frets were rusty, and body would have dings and nicks from where my brother would knock it off the stand or drop it out of the case. One time, while it was in its case, it was run over by a mini-van. Miraculously it was still intact. Thank the Lord I had sprung for the expensive case.
My second possession was my laptop. Back then it was the bomb. It seemed to weigh about 30 pounds. I carried it all around campus. I told my dad it was for taking notes in class, but really I just played DOOM on my breaks. I even had a cordless mouse that let me navigate the game much easier.
My last possession was my baby blue Chevy S-10 pick-up truck. I had just dropped a large chunk of my college savings fund to help pay for this bad-boy. It was a five-speed stick shift, 4-cylinder, and no A/C. This truck developed my addiction for driving. Most people I know hates to drive, because of nasty traffic, the seemingly wasted time, or just having to sit still for a prolonged period of time. I, on the other hand, lived in the middle of nowhere, so driving became natural. Just getting to Wal-Mart or the gas station took about half an hour, and getting to Arapahoe Community College had a total of two hours round trip.
These long trips gave me my opportunity to rest. I obviously wouldn't sleep, but my mind could relax. I listened to music, observed people, and let my mind wander. It was my haven. One day, my haven was all but destroyed.
My classes were over for the day, and I was new in town, so I had no real friends to talk to. That didn't bother me much, but I still seemed to brighten when I saw my truck. I got to school early for a 7:30 A.M. class, so I got one of the better parking spots. As I approached the driver's side door, I reached into my pocket to pull out my black and yellow Pacific Sunwear lanyard, but left pocket was empty. The left pocket is where I always put my keys, but I guessed maybe I could have put them in my right. They weren't there either.
I remembered retracing my steps in my mind, but shortly finding out the truth when I saw the keys dangling from the ignition. I had locked myself out of my car. Crap. I let my head drop, and window met my forehead sooner than I anticipated, so the impact hurt a little more than I was willing to admit. Of course, I had given my spare key to my father, but he was in town. Which means he would have to drive all the way home, in the boonies, then drive another hour back to the ACC parking lot. Again, he would do just about anything for me, but this wasn't the first time I'd locked my keys in the car. Actually, it wasn't the first time that week.
I had locked my keys in the car already twice that month, and once earlier that week. Both times my dad had bailed me out with the spare key. I could tell that he was getting a little perturbed at the driving and wasted gas that went into my rescues, so I regretting having to call him a third time to ruin the third day this month just for me and my forgetfulness.
That's when a campus security guy drove by slowly. He was patrolling the lot. He briefly waved, but then moved along slowly to the other lots on campus. It was only after he left that I realized the help he could have been to my current situation. Luckily, my only luck of the day, I had the campus number in my phone, so I called and after about half an hour, a security officer came by with the proper tools to jimmy open my lock.
I was happy that I didn't have to bug my dad, but it was clear that this fellow had never done anything like this before. He pulled, pushed and even suggested that I break out a back window. The fellow was of course joking, but my expressionless gaze told him immediately that I wasn't in the mood. Finally he positioned his flat, metal hook in just the right place to pull the lock over into the right spot. Relief must have shown on my face because he brightened up instantly as well.
With that I shook his hand and walked around to the other side of the vehicle to get my backpack out of the shade. I didn't want my spiffy new laptop computer sitting out in the Colorado sun. When I did though I encountered my second speed bump. My front passenger tire was completely flat. My relief from opening the door was carrying over into my next problem, so I wasn't as upset as you'd imagine. I'd changed plenty of flat tires, so it wasn't going to be a problem.
Now is the point in my story where things really start to avalanche. I bend down to look under my truck to retrieve my spare tire when I noticed a bike lock securely fastening the spare tire in place. At first I was confused. I thought I missed a step and I needed a special key or something to unlock the tire, but after a moment of thought I came to the conclusion that I was yet again stuck. My relief had no successfully worn off and was being replaced with a mild rage.
I called my campus police friend back and told him about my new problem. He just chuckled. It was the kind of chuckle you hear from someone who isn't actually amused. A disgusted chuckle would describe it better. He was as tired of my as I was of him. Reluctantly he agreed to bring bolt cutters and rescue me for the second time. I do believe thought that he took it upon himself to take his time though. It was well over forty-five minutes before he pulled up behind my parking spot.

Who's Organizing the Birthday Party?


Just came back from my daughters' friends' birthday party. Nothing has ever scared me so much in life. It was not just a birthday party; it was like a perfectly planned orchestra.
So from the moment we entered the party hall dressed up in vivid hues of pink and blue with Disney characters dotting all the corners, there was not a moment to breathe.
It had the works - A magician, a tattoo artist, balloon craft, a emcee, coaxing willing and unwilling children into playing games which resulted in some children winning and others trying to put up a brave face.
Birthday parties have become a mini industry now. There are organizations that plan the entire event as they call it for the busy parents from decoration to games to food and make sure every moment in the party is structured and organized. And they obviously cost a whole lot of money as they design themes and backdrops that entice the innocent children and the trusting parents who end up paying an obscene amount of money for an hour of fun.
That got me thinking. What would my daughter be remembering 10 years from now? Would she remember the elaborately planned Cinderella birthday party?
I remember my favourite memory from childhood was something far simpler. I grew up in a middle class home in Kolkata. Powercuts were a frequent part of our childhood. And I still vividly remember those evenings. All of a sudden the lights would fade out. Lights would blink back in a few rich neighbourhood houses; the remaining houses would remain shrouded in darkness or glow in the faint flickering light of candles.
And there in our balcony with the summer breeze blowing and the candle flickering, my parents would tell me and my sister stories - ghost stories, war stories, stories about great people and stories about ancient history.
Some days we would just sing songs; all of us would join in and sing old and new songs alike.
It was like a magical world in the dark with the sound of the stories and the music. And when the lights came back, we returned back to the real world almost reluctantly.
I never had a Cinderella birthday party but I don't miss not having one. But I will forever remember those unhurried, unstructured moments in the balcony where our parents gave us their undivided time and attention.
Cut back to today's world. Hurried weekdays with both parents rushing off to work, the children running to school and daycare centres. Classes in the evening and during the weekends.
Are we organizing too much of our kids' lives? Fighting for the best schools, best summer camps during holidays, dancing lessons, swimming lessons, tennis classes, piano classes and not to forget the organized birthday parties?
Would they learn more and definitely enjoy more if we just let them be for a few hours? Let them dream and imagine and create their own games at leisure?

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